emological asked: If you still want prompts Kris and Lay are henchmen for a crime boss/syndicate/whatever. They're currently in the middle of a shoot out w the feds and don't think they'll make it out alive.
    the queen replied:

    “I…I think I’m almost out of bullets.”

    Kris looks over slowly to the man crouched down beside him with a look of upmost incredulity. It’s not because he ran out of bullets. That’s basic math. You shoot a gun, loaded with x amount of bullets, and at some point you will run out of said bullets. Basic math. However, he was more than confident Lay had told him about five times that he had about three magazines on him, so for him to almost be out of bullets five minutes into their shootout with the fucking feds, well, color him incredulous because…

    “Are you fucking kidding me?”

    Lay ducks as a bullet ricochets off of the fuel drum they were hiding out behind. He makes a show of patting down his pockets then shrugging helplessly. “I thought I had three, but they weren’t magazines…they were my Donald Duck PEZ dispensers.”

    “HOW,” Kris yells, then lowers his voice because hello, the feds didn’t need to be privy to Lay’s idiocy. “How,” he says quieter, “did you confused magazine clips with PEZ dispensers?”

    Lay pulls one out and flashes it like it answers his question. “Same shape!”

    “NOT THE SAME SHAPE!” Another bullet pings off the fuel drum and Kris stands and lets off three shots in the cop’s direction. “Not even close to the same shape,” he finishes pitifully as he ducks back down.

    Lay pockets his stupid not bullet magazines but PEZ dispensers back in his pocket and shrugs again. “Well, no need to get upset about it. Not like there is anything we can do about it now.”

    Lay is right. Lay is always right (except for the stupid PEZ dispenser act). They were supposed to be quietly and quickly casing their rival gang’s hideout. The SME Syndicate was ran by their bosses’s brother, Kim Young Man and it was their job to watch his hideout or find a way to make his life a living annoying hell, either or. It was supposed to be a quick job, in and out, something they did weekly. Except this time, someone, neither him or Lay, had set off an silent alarm and before either of them could escape they were trapped by the feds.

    Perfect.

    The sad thing was…

    “We’re probably not going to make it out alive, are we, ge?”

    Kris sobers. He peeks over the steel drum again and sees an agent getting a little too brave approaching them. He lets off one round at his feet before ducking back below.

    “Maybe, probably,” he responds. “But hey,” he taps one finger under Lay’s chin. “That’s never stopped us before right? Thinking we weren’t going to survive never meant we didn’t, huh.”

    The comforting move has an opposite effect on his partner. His bottom lip starts to tremble and Kris has never been one to stand a good ground against Lay’s tears. “I don’t want to die, ge.” Lay was one of the bravest men he knew, but Lay could also single-handedly fight his way through a mob while sobbing himself half to death, so Kris isn’t exactly concerned as he is…concerned.

    “Are you about to do something stupid?”

    Lay nods and sniffles. “Maybe, probably. As much as I don’t want to die, I don’t want to see you die either. I’ve got things to tell you and I can’t do that if we’re dead.”

    Kris knows that before people die they tend to want to get things off of their chest and Kris thinks it’s actually a good time to do that. Yes, before Lay did whatever he thought was a good idea and before whatever Lay’s good idea got them both killed.  

    “You know, “Kris starts. “I’m the one who stole your shirt. The one with the bullet hole? The one you got from Baekhyun’s grandmother?”

    Lay gasp and turns to Kris. “Wh–what?! I’ve been looking for that shirt for months!”

    “Well I saved you from that bullet! If I hadn’t have tackled you, you would have been shot. So I think I deserved to have it,” Kris hisses. “Plus…it smelled good,” he finished under his breathe.

    “It what?”

    “It smell–you know what? Nevermind. Tell me what you were going to tell me. Now. While we are alive.”

    Lay glances over the fuel drum and shoots once in the air, sending the feds back towards their car. “COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” one shouts.

    “WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST? WE’RE HAVING A MOMENT HERE! RUDE!” Lay yells back.

    Lay crouches low and sighs before he turns to Kris. “You remember that one time at Yoona’s party when we all went and got wasted?”

    “The one at the gambling spot? Where Luhan almost wagered his entire fortune for Minseok’s hand in marriage?”

    “Yeah…that one. Um…that wasn’t Jessica that kissed you in the closet.”

    Kris’s lips scrunch up. “Are you sure because she told me it was when I asked.”

    “No, you idiot. She told you that because I told her to tell you that. I paid her like, 300 bucks to lie.”

    Kris’s frowns. “Now why would you–!gasp!–that was you?”

    Lay laughs. “You’re so slow.” Lay sits up, inhales deeply, and smiles. “Okay, now that we’ve got that off our chest…on the count of three run.” He says this as he pulls a lighter out of his pocket. He reaches across Kris and grabs at a discarded newspaper stack and rips off one of a few of the pages.

    “Is this that stupid thing you’re going to do?”

    Lay nods as he twists the pages together. He reaches up to the steel drum, uncaps the opening, and stuffs half the paper in it. He pauses for a moment, bends over and kisses Kris again. By the time Kris is over the shock, the piece of paper is lit and the flame is quickly traveling towards the opening of the drum.

    “THREE!!”

    __________________________

    that was funny to me, I don’t know why PEZ dispensers are so funny. 

  1. PLEASE YO

    tibdeottokeh:

    tibdeottokeh:

    i’ve never asked for anything on tumblr before…. so.. this is weird

    but please T_T like and share my message for sehun… i really want him  to know how proud i (we ) are of him and i… just.. yeah i like him a lot, pls like and share plsplspls

    here

    Mcm will choose 50 messages for each member. . And it would mean the world for me if you helped me get enough ” hearts” on my message for sehun lol…
    The page might load a bit slow but eventually my message will pop up.. and theres a picture of me so…
    Plsss… i only watched them live twice from far lol (when i was in seoul last year)
    Pls pls pls help me get enough “hearts” by sharing this!

    Every body go GO GO! Let’s get this message in the book! Go! 

  2. Anonymous asked: Your Luhan analysis was hilarious & wonderful and they really need to be putting a bell on that kid & keeping buckets of water handy if they don't want a Dispatch expose. Would you do a Kaisoo analysis if you have time? I was eating up what you were saying about Jongin & I'd love to read more!
    the queen replied:

    If there was a dispatch scandal, the only thing SM would do is pretend that Luhan is either a girl OR magically another one of his members would suddenly have a girlfriend. Most likely Chanyeol this time since I still think they hunch in the dark when they think no one is looking.

    image

    For Kaisoo. 

    Now before I start, I want people to know that Kaisoo isn’t really a ship to me. They are kind of like Jongkey. They are taken as a given. That’s the basis of them to me. They simply existed. Even if I wasn’t to get a single example of skinship going foward, they would still exist. 

    Most of this stems from just watching the two of them in the same room, especially around the time they debut because I was under the impression that they couldn’t stand each other (we now hear the stories of how Jongin was scared to death of Kyungsoo). Then I saw this just randomly: 

    image

    Well excuse the fuck out of me

    side-note: any ship that surprises me usually is a permanent ship. combine the fact that if I find a quality fanfic about them (HELLO ANTEROGRADE TOMORROW\) within a week, it’s a canon pairing to idc idc idc ic  

    This ship seems one sided if you’re like standing across the street and you’re squinting and the sun is in your eyes. I mean Jongin is obsessive when it comes to Kyungsoo. To the point of VISIBLE jealousy.

    image

    Like it knocks the fucking cool out of Jongin QUICK o see Kyungsoo with someone else.

    image

    image

    image

    Legit the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. 

    There is an attachment there. I know SM Ent is the DRAGON MASTER of selling ships to us fans but there is some stuff you can throw at us (like..HunHan -sorry!HunHan shippers!- for instance) and there is some stuff you can’t hide. Whatever attachment Jongin has towards Kyungsoo? 

    No hiding that. 

    image

    It’s either a legit crush, pure childlike adoration, the reflection of their close friendship or the tail end of a relationship we are not privy too.

    Not for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is beloved by all. He is the pinnacle poster child for the popularity of SM. Men, women, children, frogs, deer, dragons, pandas, lightening bolts, rabbits…all of ‘em, love Kyungsoo. So trying to seperae his interactions with the rest, and differentiating them from his interactions with Jongin….a little harder than Jongin’s pure straightforward infautation, but it’s there.

    From the way he takes care of Jongin 

    image

    to the way he dotes on him and is constantly complimenting him

    image

    or this post

    Who has the best body? 

    Or how Kyungsoo’s face used to LIGHT UP LIKE THE LAS VEGAS STRIP during their part in Angel?

    image

    And let’s make no mistake. Kyungsoo gets jealous too. 

    Like hilariously jealous

    image

    My theory, there is nothing that I’ve seen from the two of them that would refute a relationship. Nothing. Because this evidence, not SM planted evidence. This is shit someone just HAPPENED to catch. 

    So that sums them up on a very basic level. 

    Disclaimer: I don’t think I have to go into some long drawn out “these gifs aren’t mine” because I can’t even MAKE gifs so…

  3. they forgot to photoshop Kris’s hand out. they betta cut him that check. 

  4. Ever since I found out Yixing and Kris are still following each other on Weibo, I’ve head cannon’d it to that they still talk on a regular. Yixing keeps him apprised of all the fuck shit SM is doing.

    Yixing: Yeah man. They literally erased you out of the picture, dude.All that was left was some fucked up blurred tree limbs. 

    Kris: image

    Yixing: Yeah, man. Word on my mother. Word on my connect. Word on my first born niece they MS Painted you out of the picture, my dude.

    Kris: image

    Yixing: You aight?

    Kris: Yeah, being in pictures not my style anyways. 

  5. tao replies to haters

    "A place that you could never step on in your life" (with an unsaid BITCH at the end)

    TAO WITH AN ENTIRE DICTIONARY OF READS. 

    *insert bitch_do_it_look_like_I_care? gif* 

  6. blacknoonajade:

    [x]

    Jesus Wept.

  7. instantvintage1986 asked: Maybe its because Shawols are generally older than EXOstans? IDK. Its pretty easy concept. I personally am having a hard time supporting both right now because EXO11 wont just let me live, but the concept is there.
    the queen replied:

    Great theory!… although Shawols ain’t all that mature themselves. We’ve had our moments (collectively as a fandom; I’ve had to cuss me out a sister or brother of the SHINee cloth a time or two because they got out of pocket.) But generally speaking, yeah, we are older and somewhat a bit …saner?? (at this point in SHINee’s career). Howver there are sane and mature people in every fandom, but if we’re talking percentage wise…then YEAH. 

    I just think that it’s a…sensitive time for Exotics (and us by-product mini Exotics: people who generally just like the twelve boys and think they’re great) and their emotions are all over the place.

    Although, THANKFULLY, I have never had to deal with a member leaving on me, I can understand both sides emotion wise. Hell I can even understand some people either wanting to take a step back from either side to like collect themselves or whatnot. or if they feel hurt (while being EMPATHETIC). I get that. 

    It’s the antis I don’t get.  People that heard the news and like the next day were COMPLETELY done with the side leaving or off the side that stayed like…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

    image

    Creating false news, insults, wishing death or sending death threats, going into the (insert person/group) tag and dropping hate bombs, cussing people out, spreading rumors….

    like you ain’t got better shit to do? Don’t you have a whole sector/person of the group to concentrate all that bullshit towards?  Like, I was amazed. Sitting back  like

    image

    Just like that, you hate them when a week before the news dropped you would have given your left titty to be in their presence? You THAT fickle? Do you have some kind of emotional stuntage going on? 

    That’s what I meant by that post. Dealing with Kris, dealing with any of them, you don’t have to be all over the place with your support but shit, to go from 100 to zero like that throws me SO hard.

    Shit if you can’t support, just SHUT UP. Concentrate on something you like, you love. 

    Empathy and understanding for another human just thrown out the window because a group broke up? A group. People are going ape shit and treating a human being like crap because a group broke up. C’mon. It’ll never be that serious.  

  8. I don’t get it. If any member of SHINee (or any other group I claim to love) were to ever leave, I would support them AND the group. That’s literally what a fandom does. We are here for one purpose only. 

    Support.

    Some of ya’ll hustling backwards. 

  9. it’s gonna be about 10 years before I EVER look at EXO’s Happy Camp interview about Kris leaving. I ain’t got the heart. 

  10. blacknoonajade:

    trampiest:

    kevinlijiahengs:

    WHY ARENT KRIS STANS CALLED THE WUFAN CLAN???

    #WUFAN AINT NOTHIN TO FUCK WIT

    image

  11. gyutiebear:

    Nothing infuriates me more than when an idol has to apologize for dating because their fans can’t keep their damn emotions in check.

  12. Joonmyeon somewhere STRESSED THE FUCK OUT

    All these damn scandals is running up the light bill! Turn the damn TV off! Turn the lights off! Turn everything off! Get up and go to bed! I don’t want to hear shit! I ain’t sign up for this bullshit! Where is my bible! I’m about to call Siwon hyung. The Lord is testing me! Father God on HIGH did I say GO TO BED?!